“Be a better listener,” is advice we’ve been hearing since we were toddlers. It’s an essential skill if you’ve grown up to influence or inspire other people. But, what does good listening even mean? What are the specific, learnable, and measurable ways to be a good listener?

After diving deep into the biology and psychology of listening, and facilitating hundreds of listening workshops, here are four behaviors I’ve learned can transform any conversation from the first time you try them.

In times of massive uncertainty our brains take a while to adapt. Three simple steps to let your brain catch up: sit down. Be Quiet. Listen.

You have to learn a lot about yourself to practice empathy. You have to be able to relate your story and relate to other people’s stories. That involves listening, vulnerability, understanding and emotion. Music, art and writing can help make the conversations more relatable and accessible for people who see the world very differently.

Facilitating an impactful meeting is a lot like producing entertaining live theatre.